TRUST











I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.
We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.
i will miss mr li

















highlight of the day
-went for conquer O today!
-study chem diligently[thanks jenny]
-mr li tai seng last day teaching us!![i really love your teaching,sobsob]
-went eating with galfrens at HADY STALL!
-galfren were so bad..[disturb innocent people-hari raya,ramli sarip,banjir,cap,last warning]so mean..
-welcome to the club..i am not one of them!!definitely!!
-late for history but was not scolded.[mr choi teach us]-i learnt new skills..
-went to help ms rose[award night stuffs]as normal-biscuit provided!![lol]
-accompany ms rose to banquet then took a lift from her..[yippee free cap ride]

ps:can i trust you?i really don't know..helplessly devoted..

yours truly;

moving on

detestable love
the path of moving on


Lonely are the nights
Lonely are the days
Lonely am I, in so many ways
Lonely are the seasons
Lonely are the years
So lonely am I, that it brings tears.
Lonely is this place
Lonely is my life
Lonely am I, that I reach for a knife
Lonely am I that i say goodbye
lonely am I that is the last of me

ps:goodbye to the old me..

yours truly;

shooting hah..

the seniors
everlasting shooting memories




went shooting today!!it was weird!!can you believed it?
THE SENIORS WORE NPCC FULL U!!
everything went wrong!
aminah-left her skirts in np room & the crest broken on one side!!
linda-left her belt in np room!
nisha-left her boots in np room!
imah-looking cute with the skirt!![cutie]
far-something went wrong with her TUNA!![lol]
well..it went smoothly for all of us!!there were two 'pro' who actually bring in eggs to us[no hard feelings]!!superb man!!well seriously we did our best as we did not have any dry shoot!!relax girls,at least non of us were kicked out!!it was a best shot for everyone!!so yah great job peeps..the guys too..but i think that the officers were too much!!they were precisely picking on linda,nisha,barrie & wei li!!i pity them!!but its ok!!you have our support!!back home w/o transport!!sobsob..but was home safely!!

i have decided that today will be my last day waiting for people!!friends were late again!!i have to wait for a total of 30 mins for someone!!DO U KNOW THAT I HATE WAITING FOR PEOPLE?if i can tel myself to be punctual why can't they?furthermore they lived nearer than me!!trust me that the next time whoever is late by 5 mins i will be gone!!take my words!!i'm really serious!!i simply hate irresponsible people!!


yours truly;

i'm really hurt!!

tears rolling down my cheeks

















how can i stop myself!!these tears are hurting me!!the truth hurts but i can't take it anymore!!WHY?why must it happen to me!!what should i do?I'm lost!I'm stuck!how am i going to continue my journey?i really wish that this does not happen to me!!i am going to make a big decision in my life!!and i really am STUCK!!!everything is so important to me but yet i have to choose..how much it hurts to....tears drying up slowly but heart is very painful!!painful path ahead!!

The Person I Long To Be
The day light breaks again
Another day has begun.
But still no sleep has come.
My body is weary
My mind overworked.
I lie awake thinking
But what I am unsure.
I need to break free from the cycle I endure.
Everyday is the same and the nights are undistinguished.
I feel as though I am being pushed along with the tide
Unable to break free from the everyday flow.
This is not me I need to change, before time takes over
And I am unable to change.
I need to be freed from the grasp of ordinary
And become that person I have always longed for.
Express myself in every way, and conquer the dreams as I lie awake.
Then I may fall asleep and put my mind to rest.
Make changes in my life and help those in need.
I would like to touch everyone life in a positive way
And leave my mark on society before I fade away.

yours truly;

finally its over

mi & danish
mi & daniel
hazim
mi & far
khairil
irfan



24/05/08-SAT
went for ptc.then headed to library to study malay.but was late & when i reached hazim & haris left cause they want to eat at home! left only me,far,khairil & irfan!study a little and left for KFC!they eat but not me as i was still full..then prof irfan goes on talking about cheese then all about fats!so prof of him!!it was so long winded but its OK!its all for far & my own good..headed for el house next..study a little then playground with her little cute nephew..so cute!!!headed j8for dinner-LJS!met my beloved sir Gabriel there!!i was so happy!!its been a long time & he is still as cute as ever!hahaxx..[botak still]had fun talking with him!good luck for 'A' level yah..
25/05/08-SUN
was spend wisely at home studying Malay!was studying for 1 whole day!moody too..was having headache..but was trying to impose MRT-MELAYU!
26/05/08
finally its over!!'O'level malay over!!feel so free now!the paper was ok!i tried my best!but yet still have to cross the hurdle of common test & o level!!this June I'm going to study very hard!!i want to pass my common test!!thanks cikgu for the MacDonald breakfast today!your being appreciated!!went home after that to complete homework for tml lesson!!no more slacking!!i have to work hard!!

ps::study hard for common test!!

yours truly;

cikgu shaiful cake
had malay intensive today.. -celebrate cikgu shaiful b'dae. -we made the cake..lovely[i prefer the white one]there was pizza too by cikgu nad.thanks -went to watch movie with galfren:CONGKAK![hmm..not scarry as i expect it to be] -after that went out with far,lim,& hazim..headed to PS!lim left as he have jamming left mi,far & hazim.walk for a while then come back to amk for dinner. -at a car park saw a guy who fall from his motorbike in front of my eyes.oh man my heart almost jump out.it was super scary. -home feel sick.my stomach is in pain i don't know why.hate to be in pain.

yours truly;

the day that i was crash

TEARS THAT REALLY HURTS

ITS ALL MY FAULT!YA BLAME ME!I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING!TRUST ME THAT AFTER TODAY I WILL BE A TOTAL DIFFERENT AMINAH!I WILL STOP BEING CARING ANYMORE!I WILL NOT CARE ABOUT ANY OF MY FRIENDS.DO WHATEVER THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!I CANT BE TRUSTED AND I'M JUST A STUPID MORON BEING TOO CARING!I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE!I REALLY HATE BEING PUSH AROUND.USED ME WHEN YOU NEED,THROW ME WHEN YOU DON'T NEED ME!IF YOU WANT TO SAY ME SENSITIVE THEN GO AHEAD!CAUSE I REALLY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!BETRAYER CALL ME THAT!IRRITATING!I REALLY HATE TODAY!EVERYTHING JUST GO WRONG FOR ME!YOU DON'T NOE HOW MUCH IT HURTS BUT I PROMISE THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BE A BLOODY FOOL ANYMORE!TRUST IS GONE FOREVER!FEELINGS SO DO I HAVE THEM!BUT YOU JUST CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS!YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW DEEP YOU HAVE HURT ME!ITS OVER AND I'M BLEEDING.DON'T BOTHER ASKING ME CAUSE I WILL NOT ANSWER.FROM NOW ON I WILL SHUT MY BIG MOUTH UP AND SHUT MY EARS TOO!!CRYING OVER THIS WILL NOT MAKE ANY DIFFERENT BUT I JUST COULDN'T STOP IT!IT IS REALLY HURTING ME INSIDE!

yours truly;

hope that we will last

FRIENDSHIP:
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. When friends stop being frank and useful to each other, the whole world loses some of its radiance.Friendship that flows from the heart cannot be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows from the spring cannogt congeal in winter.
GALFRENS:
I'm not trying to blame anybody but I'm really hurt just now cause it have reached the maximum.i was trying my best to hang out but i could not.yes,you can call me sensitive but i have the rights to get angry.my patient will run out one day and it so happen to be today!i need some time to cool down!I'm really having a hard time coping with stuffs so yeah..you all are still my galfrens..just need some time to cool down..
21/may/2008:
highlight of the day-
-malay intensive cikgu treat us grass jelly drink..was jellilicious..sweet stuffs but still thanks cikgu,it was much appreciated.
-in ms mullai room it was so funny especially the part of spencer & azlinah singing the song everyday!it was a big lol..funny..really enjoy that part.
-at first junior was rude but finally realised their mistakes so they repented and yah was greeted at last.
-to that someone:i'm not trying to prove anything but i just want to show you that my nose is perfect!LOL..hope you get the joke!

yours truly;

vesak day

watch fated to love you
holiday was spend wisely..studying
headed to vivo with galfrens..study plus window shop..it was also sight-seeing for 'hot d...'!lol..it was fun though..didn't enjoy much..was kind of emo..wore all black..didn't noe why..just feeling lousy..somebody keep me happy pls..
headed back home after done with business..watch fated to love you show on youtube..it was so sad..i almost cry..couldn't take it..why must she suffer..whatever..its just a show..come on aminah..study no more shows..serious..
so worried for my 'o' level malay..i did so badly for common test..must buck up and pull my socks..its coming soon..jia yo minah..must persevere..

ps:i hate what i'm going through..i'm in a difficult position..troubled by problems..

yours truly;

day out to rp open house/mustaffa centre

burst pics again
2 image of mi on the same day
i really love this

went to rp open house with rose,anis,az & izah..as normal someone have to be late..so took opportunity to shop at causeway & also eat..upon arriving at rp,it was so deserted as it was kind of late.headed for sight-seeing plus pictures time..took lots of pics..get a GREEN rp bag which contain a shirt inside!so yah..fulfil rose wish!headed to mustaffa centre next!went to accompany rose to buy stuffs..there it felt so uncomfortable when the people keep looking at my ....!so in the end i decided to where over the rp shirt over what I'm wearing!that really felt better!felt more secure.headed to eat next at a coffee shop nearby..we met az mum & dad..eat & gossip a lot..then i was so ANGRY at the uncle!when i was about i asked him where to pay so he show me at the counter there.then when i was about to get up he say that i was too heavy to stand up![rose,izah,anis lol]i was so embarrassed!irritating uncle!make mi lose my face!will never go that shop again!upon walking back to farrer park nel,we talk bot 'hot d----'!it was so hilarious..rose really made us laugh by saying that!but that was kindda of true..really enjoy myself a lot by lol ytd!thanks galfren for making my day!love u all..

yours truly;

happy birthday atiqah

angels wanna be
e wanna be divas
love u gals





HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATIQAH





hmm..enjoy today!
school normal except smt happen..to zul & khairil,i will try lah berbual dengan dia..i will listen to your advice..its hard but still..
headed home after skol with far,serene & redfish..so funny lah far..ahe disturb my neighbour dog!hai..she really belong to the family of animals..lol..
eat pizza for atiqah celebration but was kinda of dead..but don't worry sister,we love you!headed to vivo wif redfish & far!did lots of silly things..but it was fun..esp the taboo plus the 'beach'..it was so funny when the uncle sweet fall into the water when me & hon yu shouted th.....!we realy LOL super loud!that was so hilarious..i realli enjoy hanging out with galfrens..i love you all..you all make my day after so much i went through..thanks a lot galfrens..

ps:i need you by my side..but its impossible..secrets lying deep inside me!

yours truly;

i lost my smiles

do you know that you have changed?
I'm hurt by your actions.its like why?I'm your friend and you have to hurt mi?i just can't believe it!I'm weak but am not the weakest loser OK!if you don't want to talk to me then don't!i don't need you in my life to live OK!you changed so drastically that i almost can't recognised you anymore!I'm moving on w/o u in my life!it hurts obviously but what can i say right?you have found someone new beside you and I'm invincible in your eyes..friendship that i thought could last end up this way!I'm beginning to fade away from your life..years of friendship just gone like that.the only option you left me now is to varnish from your sight!so what if i tear up?you will never understand the feeling that run deep inside me!

PS:hurt,really hurt

yours truly;

you cant buy happiness

had a long day today!loves physics most!mr li very funny..he is so involve about physics..don't worry i will try my best!had intensive malay!was so tiring!but thanks cikgu for the ice kacang!it was kacangnicious!hahaha..ms mullai was funny!lol man!
btw i'm not in love!you must be kidding!i'm just too stress..you're the best GODMOTHER!you made my day!i did'n PS u ok!i did wait but was not fated!


CHANGE?
SHOULD I?
SHOULD I NOT?
PEEPS ARE NOT HAPPY WITH ME!
I AM TRYING MY BEST TO COPE!
TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME IS TIRING!
YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO!
I AM WHO I AM!
I NEED TIME I GUESS!
JUST WHEN I THINK ITS THE RIGHT TIME,IT HAS TO HAPPEN!
HOPES DASHED!
CONFLICT AGAIN!
I HATE IT!
WILL LEAD MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT!
I DON'T CARE OK!
GET IT?

PS:LOVES MS MULLAI[U ROX]
HATE THE WAY IT IS!I'M TO BE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING AGAIN!

yours truly;

had a fun day with galfren & ms rose!it was so wonderful..went to eat with

far,anis,imah & serene at KFC..smt interesting happen!far complaint!it was

cause my burger had this brown lettuce instead of green!in other words the

lettuce had gone bad!it was funny as far & serene told me to get my burger

changed cause they are worried for my weak stomach!then far jus asked 1 of

the auntie there and told them to change!


it was so funny!the way far present herself!lols!!!!but thanks..u all care

for my weak stomach!really appreciated!:) but i must really say that the

service there sucks!i will lodged a complain when I'm free!i must do it!

headed to library next!study & far teach me the possibility diagram!thanks

far now i understand how to do!


loves galfrens!


loves junior!



ps:i have changed..


i want it my way!


i don't care about you anymore!

yours truly;

muffins!!!

it was muffinicious..
my mummy muffins[i made it]
we miss u!
its mothers day tml..so i was busy wif muffins..
thanks anis & imah!e advice for the muffins..
hope my mum like it!overall it was a success cause my dad & bro enjoy it!
me too was enjoying it!see the pic..4 of it went to our stomach!!
apart from muffins,i study today..i did English journal plus maths.read book too..
i'm working hard..well ytd forget to thanks ckg nad..thanks for the chocs.
thanks a lot to gordon too for teaching me PROBABILITY ytd!i know I'm slow but
thanks for being patience with me!
redfish we mis u!we realli do!naughty,naughty,naughty!mis ur laughter!
hang out with us when ur done with ur mid year kaes?


ps:i hate being controlled!
either put up with me or get out of my life!
i hate you scolding me!i feel so small ok!get it!

yours truly;

pics only..

sisters

yours truly;

sick again!

was sick today!
my gastric acts up again!
didn go to skol today!
i realli need a body check up!
gg this sat!
was feeling so sick that i feel like killing myself!
but i hav to endure the pain!
aminah u have to wait till sat!
did my history today!
apart from that jus rest,eat & sleep for the whole day!
i didn want to skip skol but it was realli pain!
feel so bad bot it!
but well i need time to recover!
waiting to be a healthy me again!

yours truly;

birthday day!

random pic

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM,SERENE & SUTINAH!
I HATE LIARS!
STOP IT!
I DON'T LIKE RUMOURS!
I DON'T TRUST U ANYMORE!
HEARTLESS CREATURE!
PS:BEGINING TO LOSE THE REAL ME!

yours truly;

wonderful?

<3
skol:
had a day full of .....
well had maths test..
was hard but i try my best..
lets leave it to fate then..
then dnt test too..was so shocking..
well don't think i can pass..
headed to workshop..
start on my base..turn out well..
then bell ring..headed to kitchen..
had a look at imah & izah cooking..
in e end,i help izah cook 1 of her dish.[it turn out well]
i also garnish all izah & imah dishes..i'm so creative..
then cooking ended.
took some pics..[was so hilarious]
hub:
saw randy & mushroom & 1 more guy!
then so move on!so jealous of them..
randy was funny man!hahax..
then they went home..
accompany serene 2 popular..
then headed home..
feelings:
y must it be today?
y must it be the same?
its just coincident!
don think too much into it!
i realli hate seeing the sight of it!
i'm changing slowly..
beginning to......
words cant describe..

yours truly;

new bag..

bought a new ink bag!
thanks mum & dad!
today..study maths for the whole day!
i don't know why but i think that I'm taking your time away from her!
i think that we should not spend too much time together..
:(
the unhappiness in me is unspoken :(
i can only keep everything to myself :(
nobody out there that can make me trust them :(
loneliness is what I'm facing right now :(
i wish upon someone to break this hurdle for me :(
waiting upon a friend that i can share my problems to :(

PS:i'm waiting for a friend..

yours truly;

peace

REDFISHH
NOISY PEOPLE!
E BEAUTIES!
E TRIOS!
MI BEING FORCE TO TAKE A PIC!
1st of al i want to say is that
lets stop fighting with each other!
pls move on and stay as frens!
i really hope that all of u in 5b will stop fighting wif each other!
i realli appreciate it!
to er yang really special thanks to you!
was so touched by your words![tears of joy in my eyes]
u are really a good bestfren!

**********************************************************************

went to library after skol!
went with redfish,farhanah & nisha!
had a lot of fun!
NAUGHTY,NAUGHTY,NAUGHTY!
irritating man!hate it!but stil funny!
then went banquet & had dinner only for redfish/nisha!
we then chip in & share fries!
the guy very wat?he disturb redfish!don worry we will protect u!
then far went off!3 of us[window shop]
redfish was touching this dress on a model at e shop BUS STOP!
she accidentally pull down e dress & e model was exposed!
hahaha..it was so funny that we really lol!
i saw this cute guy on the 3rd level & i was on e 2nd level!
he super cute man!but well its jus sight-seeing for my eyes!
then went home!...........home sweet home!

******************************************************************
today during maths,i was teaching hazim & irfan VECTORS!
can u believe it?went actually i am lousy in maths!
but,i really teach them!then...
mr sim:aminah are u teaching them?
aminah:yah!
mr sim:wah!not bad hah!
aminah:yah.i want to prove to er yang that i can do it & beat him!
mr sim:ok!good!
i was happy cause mr sim praise mi!
random but true!

********************************************************************
get to noe smt!
was sadden by it but hav to stay cool!
wat i wan to say is that:
NOBODY'S PERFECT!
EVEN U HAVE YOUR FLAWS!
SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT MAN!
I BELIEVED IN KARMA!
CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR OF YOURS!
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

yours truly;

moving on

happy birthday wei xun!
yah u cant see it bot i hope u can feel it..
holiday..
stay at home
study maths & malay..
help mum & dad cook today..
was slacking too such as watching tv..
the show i watch was so romantic..
hahax..thats so mi..i love romantic movies..
but nisha ask mi to watch epic movies..
she say that romance is so boring must watch fighting shows..
i will try..it nt easy..
was also thinking bot stuffs..
realli felt tat i'm lonely..
i realli mis atiqah & nadia..
i'm so jealous that they move on..&
i'm still stuck in this skol..
but yeh,i will not give up!
i will work hard for my 'o' level..
lif ehave to move on..

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
oh..i'm declare broke..
so many people b'dae coming..
saving money!!!!!!

*****************************
u hav change..
i tot u will stil go back to mi!
but i was mistaken..
u hav move on wif ur life..
u hav someone new..
u cant see mi anymore..
i can only say tat i'm sad..
well i can onli say i need to move on..
no used waiting..
but i'm realli hurt by ur moves..
no used waiting aminah!
move on!
jia yo!
don give up!
now i will keep this problems aside..
studies come first..
i need to pass!
peeps:pls make mi happy cause i don noe wats happening to my life!
i can be happy..
i can be sad..
pls make mi smile..
don make mi cry..
now i'm getting so sensitive..
ur words & actions can hurt mi deeply!
so be gentle wif mi!
i will move on & try to be happy!
[my smile may not be a sincere one]

yours truly;

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